How many of us don’t stop and celebrate our wins enough, or if we actually do stop to celebrate, we are so out of the habit that we have no idea how to do this. Or if you have done something it felt hollow and disconnected to you as a person and what you have achieved.
Advertising tells us that you need to buy yourself something to celebrate, and the more expensive the better. Have you followed this advice and splurged on something that you thought would help you feel like you’d really made a leap in your only to find after the initial buzz of the purchase an empty feeling.
Instead of following what brands would like us to do to celebrate you are more likely to find a celebration that resonates with you if you sit down, think about your values, what brings you joy, what you would like more of or less of in your life and then use this to guide your decisions.
If nothing immediately comes to mind here’s a list of five options that aren’t the run of the mill that you may speak to you, or they may spark an idea for you:
1. Is it Time?
When we’re young we generally have all the time in the world and limited resources to do anything with it, however as we get older this seems to tip the other direction. We have more and more on our plates as we get older, and this can happen so slowly that we don’t realise how full they’ve gotten until we’re absolutely exhausted.
You may decide that if you achieve something you are going to buy back some time back for yourself. This could be a cleaner for a few weeks, someone to do a load of ironing for you, a meal service for a period of time or it could be something like dropping some hours / day(s) at work.
Sit down, think about everything on your plate, even write it down. What is life giving and what is life draining? What takes lots of time to do or lots of emotional energy? What is reasonable to have someone take off your plate or help you with?
This doesn’t need to be a long term decision, this could just be a day, week, month, any period of time based on your resources (financial, emotional, physical, spiritual).
It could be that you hate cleaning the bathroom in your house. You think about it, resent having to do it given you’re not the only one using it. Does it make you angry and annoyed that it is on your plate? And then when you actually clean the bathroom it and it takes ½ hour and isn’t nearly as much work as it was in your mind?
Something like this may be exactly what you buy back, as you would be paying someone ½ hour to clean your bathroom, but probably saving yourself so much more time and energy.
Yours could be different but think about what are the things you really don’t want to do, is it reasonable to outsource these and celebrate the achievement of a goal by giving yourself time and energy back. There’s also the added bonus that with this time and energy you could push harder and faster on your goals.
2. Have you Wanted Something for SO Long?
Is there something from your childhood that you absolutely loved and no longer have, or something that you always wanted? Why not buy that to celebrate yourself?
You are now the adult in your life, but how often do you still act as though you’re a child not allowing yourself the things you weren’t allowed as a child? You are allowed to be the adult, nurture that inner child with something that they have wanted for a long time.
You may feel deeply satisfied with this. Or maybe you will have it and realise that you’d built it up to be something in your mind that it wasn’t. Either way, you’re no longer pining about something that you want and don’t’ have. You will have a different image of yourself and your life, you are at a point in your life where you can get the things you’ve always wanted.
3. What is Annoying You?
Sometimes what will make us feel the most like we’ve “made it” and achieved a goal is that the things that annoy us the most are resolved. These minor annoyances are what takes up our time and energy every day. Would not having these in your life make you feel like you’re levelled up, you’ve achieved goals and that you’re capable of achieving more?
It could be as little as buying a new pair of shoes or fixing the ones you have. Are you currently wearing a pair of heels that need to be re-healed or replaced? You keep forgetting that it needs to happen and then you wear them on a hard-floor and all you can hear is the click clicking of the pin in your heel as you walk through a lobby. Does it make you feel a bit embarrassed and a little bit less than? What if instead of putting off fixing or replacing these you do exactly this and commit to it as how you are going to celebrate the achievement of a goal.
Sit down and think of all the things in your life that make you frustrated on a daily basis. These don’t need to be big things, just the little annoyances that you haven’t had the time, energy or money to resolve. Pick one, or a few (depending on your resources) and decide that this is how you will celebrate yourself when you achieve your next goal.
Celebrating your wins through this means will help in multiple ways. One, that you have found a celebration that is true to who you are. Two, that you will have the time and/or energy back that these annoyances used to take out of your day back. Three, that you will feel like your life is getting incrementally better towards your overall dream life goal. Four, that you can put the time, energy and momentum into more goal achievement.
4. Is it Pointless?
We all have different wants and desires, and we sometimes have things that may seem frivolous or pointless to other but to us it would make us feel like we’ve “made it’, we’ve achieved a big goal and were on the other side if we had it. It could be that the item itself could be deemed as un-necessary or that the version you want is more expensive than the base model.
You are an adult, and you are allowed to have things just because you want them. Obviously, this depends on your individual circumstances but I’m assuming that if you’re struggling to pay rent or the mortgage, you’re not about to spend your family’s entire life savings on something just because you want it. I trust that you’re a competent and considerate adult.
If something gives you joy that is allowed to be enough, it is something for you to celebrate your win, not for anybody else.
Sometimes, allowing us to think about what we would like if we didn’t have to justify it to anyone can take the barriers down in our mind to find a way to celebrate the achievement of a goal that would really speak to who you are as a person. Sometimes it might do the opposite and you realise that you only want something because someone else has told you it’s not a good use of money, time or energy.
5. Is it being Debt Free?
I would love to have a debt-free life. No credit card debt, no car loan, no student loans, no personal loans, no mortgage, no debt, just completely debt free. I even have a spreadsheet that shows how I’m tracking towards paying everything off and I can add extra payments and see how much sooner I’ll be debt free. This also has a graph that tracks the projected and actual debt balance and interest expense each month and I love watching that little line head to $0 (If you would like me to send my template email me). For me this is exciting.
When I achieve a goal, I put the money I would have spent buying myself to mark the moment towards paying off debt. I get so much satisfaction from this that it makes me really feel like I’m “making it” in the world.
It also helps that one of my overarching goals and needs is freedom. So, whenever I achieve a small goal towards that dream life, through the celebration of this (ie paying down more debt) I’m also making a step towards financial freedom. Thereby getting twice as close to the dream life I desire.
I know not everyone is like me, but if this is how you feel lean into it. Don’t feel that you need to spend money on something to celebrate a win, a goal achievement, a promotion you’ve worked hard for, the answer may be putting that money or the pay-rise into paying down debt.
I hope these options either resonate with you or spark thought in you so that you can figure out how to celebrate yourself going forward.
If it has sparked something, feel free to add to the comments, I’d love to hear your suggestions.
As always, please feel free to subscribe to my newsletter so that this blog comes directly to you or book a goals coaching session if you need help fleshing out how you could celebrate yourself.
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